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Parents, We Need to Talk About Kids’ AI Companions
I recently left a conference in Nashville, TN, that discussed some statistics that have been on my mind since I left. As a children’s minister, I find it important to communicate these things to you before your family has to unexpectedly handle them directly. The thought I left with is this:
Google made it possible to find answers without asking another person. AI is making it possible to seek companionship without turning to another person.
For the past couple of years, parents have asked, “What is my kid watching?” Now they will have to ask, “What is my kid talking to?”
AI tools have offered a way to be conversational with people. These conversations can very quickly make it sound like you are just talking to a friend, a coach, or a teacher. Children are easily accessing this ever-changing technology that is always available and seems personal. Parents, I need you to understand what these conversations can become before it is too late.
What Parents Need to Know
AI companionship is an artificial relationship with technology that generates responses to resemble friendships, support, or even romantic interests.
A 2025 Common Sense Media survey of 1,060 U.S. teens ages 13–17 found that 72% had tried AI companions, and 52% used them at least a few times a month. Now, trying one does not mean that there is an emotional connection, but it does mean that they are already becoming familiar with it. This poses a whole number of risks that I will address in a later blog.
Even more concerning is this: the Center for Democracy & Technology found that 19% of high school students said they or a friend had interacted with AI to have a romantic relationship during the 2024–25 school year. Now, this does not mean that 1 in 5 high schoolers had a romantic relationship, but this does mean that we need to sound the sirens of how concerning this already is.
Consider that these statistics are from students at an age that knows a world without AI. Think about the implications of this study on these next kids who will never have known a world without AI. Another technology that is promising genuine connection, but is ultimately artificial and will fall short, just like social media.
Our children do not need artificial and frictionless relationships. They need to have face-to-face interactions with people. They need to take risks and meet new people. They need to have fights and disagreements with friends. They need to go through the hard times of relationships to learn how to live in the real world.
My concern is that 24/7 access to frictionless and artificial companionship will be a whole lot easier for them to turn to rather than handling the messiness of real people.
AI technology is going to make it easier for them to block out the hard relationships in real life. They will turn to this fake relationship to get affirmation instead of talking to a friend about how they feel. They will turn to this for advice instead of a real mentor. They will turn to this with their struggles instead of the Holy Spirit in their lives, whom they should depend on.
How to Start the Conversation
You do not have to be an expert on AI technology to be able to talk to your child about these things. On a car ride or around dinner, just open a conversation about it with curiosity. Start a conversation like this:
“Have you heard about how people can use their phones/computers to talk to AI?”
From here, just naturally stay curious! Depending on their age and responses, follow up with this:
- “Have you or your friends ever tried one?”
- “What do people like about talking to them?”
- “Have you ever talked to one when you felt sad or wanted someone to listen?”
- “Has anything it said made you uncomfortable or confused?”
You do not have to have all the right things to say. Just gain an understanding of what they know about it. If they have been using it, reassure them in a calm way that you appreciate them talking to you and tell them that you can talk through boundaries with it together. From there, you decide what is best for your family and set clear boundaries. Remember that listening calmly is not permission, and if you are not sure what to do, you can revisit the conversation.
Give Kids Clear Guidance
They need to hear from their parents that chatbots are not real people and the responses they give are artificially generated. There is no one behind that screen who cares for them the way a parent does, a coach does, or their pastor does, and most importantly, how God does. They need to know that they should never share personal details, family information, or any pictures with it.
Ask your child to name people in their life they feel like they can go to with hard things. Reassure them that they can always talk to you or these people about things when life gets hard or when they are confused.
Now, you have to make a commitment. Put the phone down. Set aside distractions. Talk to your kids. Make time to meet others. And get them involved at the church!
Think Ahead About Access
I agree with the direction Jonathan Haidt recommends in The Anxious Generation:
- Delay smartphones until at least high school. Consider a basic calling-and-texting phone if earlier communication is necessary.
- Delay social media until age 16.
- Support phone-free school days.
- Give children more real-world independence, free play, and responsibility.
These are his proposed norms. Reaching those ages should begin a conversation about readiness, rather than automatically trigger access. (Parent guide.)
My strong recommendation is to make time for your children to make actual connections with people and keep technology out that simulates virtual friendships and romance.
It is not too late to go back. If your family is already using social media or technology, you can reassess. YOU are the parent. If you are scared that taking away a phone is going to damage your child, it might signal even more so some red flags in your child’s social life.
Do not do this Alone
As a children’s minister, I am already asking questions about how the church supports and tackles this real issue. Those who know me know I am always available to offer resources about this.
If you are unsure how to start this conversation, reach out to people you trust. Most of all, pray for guidance. God has trusted YOU to be a parent, so He will sustain you and give you wisdom if you ask.
You don’t have to have every answer before starting. A good first step is making sure your child knows you are ready to listen.
Want to talk more? Email me at luke@goodwaterbaptist.com or come find me at our Trunk or Treat on October 25!
Note:
I recently attended the ETCH conference in Nashville, and some research about teenagers using AI for companionship really concerned me. As the children’s minister at Goodwater Baptist Church, I wrote an article to help parents understand the issue, start conversations with their children, and consider technology boundaries.
Pictured with Luke are his parents
