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Knowing what to say when someone dies is not easy. I became very aware of this when my son Larkin died at age 22. Some of the weirdest stuff was said to me! I think most of the time we mean well. We just don’t know what to say!
I am going to share a few things I learned from an article I read by Paula Spencer Scott about six years ago.
Don’t say:
1. Stop Crying; you’re only making it worse: Crying is not always a bad thing. The release of tears is natural, normal, and healthy reaction to death.
2. You must be strong or God doesn’t give us more than we can handle: Statements like this imply that it is wrong to be in such a dark place…but that is not true..sometimes that is the only place we know.
3.I know exactly how you feel: No, you don’t know exactly how that person feels even if you have experienced the same type of loss.You didn’t have the same relationship to the person who died.
4. It’s been (six months a year etc) it is time to move on: People never stop grieving for their loved one and there is no time table.
What to say:
1. I’m sorry for your loss: Probably the best, short, sweet, heartfelt sentence you can say.
2. You’re always in my thoughts and prayers: No one should be offended by this statement.
3. She/He was a wonderful person: We all want to hear positive things about our loved one.
4. I’ve brought you a meal to eat or freeze: Putting action to your words.
The article by Paula Spencer Scott is discussed on video in detail on MageeNews.com UnCut Facebook page which is a new closed Facebook group I have started. Information to join the page is available here: http://mageenews.wpengine.com/mageenews-uncut/.
Unlike MageeNews.com, Uncut is not free. A cost of $2.99 per month or $30 per year is required. Your first month is free so you can decide for yourself if you want to join UnCut. Several videos are already available on UnCut.
UnCut will contain a little bit more to some of the stories I write or we report on MageeNews.com.
Don’t worry, you’ll still get all the news on MageeNews.com. UnCut just takes the story a little deeper.
Just visit this page and subscribe then request to join the Facebook group.
(I am still working out the kinks on our closed Facebook page…so bear with me! As you know, I am all about trying something new! Charlie, Patrice, Zach and I have been looking at ways to bring “deeper” information to our articles. I think we’ve found it! Joining takes a few clicks…but well worth the effort. If you have something you would like us to cover on UnCut, just let me know.)